Deep Breathing for the Soul

I received e-mails from Kay and Jen this week, asking about writing careers. Since I get several similar questions each month, I thought I’d share some thoughts on this with all of you.

Kay wrote: “I am at a crossroads in my life and have finished writing a book, a humorous Christian mom book and am looking to be published and become a speaker.  I have NO idea where to go and who to trust, could you point me in the right direction.”

Jen saw an article I wrote in Today’s Christian Woman and wrote, “After I read it, I really felt led to come to your website and to find out more about you and what you do. I know that God has given me the ability to write, and I want to write in a way that inspires and provokes people to do something good - like what you have done with that article. I need advice. I’m not sure how to go about doing this, but I do know that I want to make the most of the gift that God has given me.”

Getting published depends on so many factors, but there is a lot you can do to educate yourself about the process.

A great place to start is with a blog written by Mary DeMuth, a great Christian writer and a dear friend of mine.

Her blog http://wannabepublished.blogspot.com/

has all kinds of info. You can also post questions.

Also, there are several links on my website to some writing sites, including Terry Whalin’s site, The Writing Life, which offers a ton of very helpful information. Also, agent Chip MacGregor’s blog has answers to lots of questions about the publishing industry. (both links are over to the right on this blog)

I’d also recommend two books: Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott,

and Making a Literary Life by Carolyn See 

The very best first step that Kay, Jen, and any of you who think you might want to be a writer can take is to attend a writer’s conference. There are a number of good ones out there. Writers’  conferences include seminars on various topics related to publishing, such as how to write a proposal, how to market your writing, writing for magazines, and so on. You will learn so much if you go to one.

Writers’ conferences also give you an opportunity to sit down with publishers and agents to pitch your book idea to them. Having an agent is pretty much a necessity in today’s publishing climate, so that might be a good place to start.

But in order to find an agent or a publisher, you’ll need a proposal. So learning how to put one together (even if you’ve already written the book) is a first step.

Beyond that, continue to hone your craft. Take classes on writing, and write every day.

So first steps are: Educate yourself about the publishing industry, put together an excellent proposal (the Writing Life site has info on this) and attend a writer’s conference where you can pitch your idea to agents.

Parenting teens is not easy. This afternoon both my kids took their window screens off of their windows, to let more air in, they said. They leaned the screens on the roof outside their windows. I pointed out that the screens could easily be blown off the roof and get wrecked, and told them in no uncertain terms that they had better forget any ideas they had about climbing out onto the roof.

They said that of course they had no intentions of climbing out their windows. Of course. Yeah, right. We quickly replaced the screens.

So sometimes, you have to be very clear about your “no.” But I always try to say yes to those things that won’t cause property or bodily damages. For every “no” I try to have more than one “yes.” So today, I let my 12 and 14 year olds exercise their creativity.

Actually, they didn’t really ask my permission. They just know to leave mommy alone when she’s writing, and this was what they came up with while I was furiously trying to meet a deadline.

We replaced a water heater this week, and the large, tall box was sitting in the driveway. We also cleared a bunch of old paint that the seller left in a house Scot sold (don’t ask-as a realtor’s wife, I get pressed into all kinds of interesting tasks, including removing battered furniture and old paint left behind in homes he’s sold. On the morning of said home’s closing. In the pouring rain. Like I said, don’t ask!).

Anyway, my kids saw an empty cardboard box and old cans of paint. That’s all they needed to have an afternoon of fun. Lacking brushes, they got creative. They stuck sticks in the paint and splashed one side of the box with green, purple, gold and other colors, a la Jackson Pollack. Another side of the box ended up emblazoned with their handprints in those same colors. The third side they “signed” with their initials in spray paint.

They also cut small spy holes in the side of the box, and took turns wearing it like a robot costume, and playing a version of blind man’s bluff with it. They enticed the dog into the box, which they found hilarious.

They were smart enough to do the painting out in the backyard. They know I’m a mom who would applaud their efforts to entertain themselves on a summer day, so they proudly showed me their creation when it was completed.

So my parenting advice for today is: encourage creativity, even if it’s messy. My kids are not, at least for this month, enrolled in anything. They ride their bikes, play with friends, or make crazy art projects out of cardboard boxes. They have time to just play. It brings me great satisfaction to know that my kids can entertain themselves, play and laugh together, and be creative. If the lawn or their shirts end up with a little purple paint on them, oh well.

For more photos, check out my Facebook page. If you are not on my friends list, send me a request and let me know you’re a blog reader!

I hope you‘ll all pick up a copy of the current issue of Today’s Christian Woman magazine. In it you’ll find my interview with Christian recording artist Natalie Grant.

Natalie is so sweet and she is a woman who is putting her faith in Jesus into some serious action. She’s started a great organization called the Home Foundation  to fight against sexual trafficking and human slavery, which affects millions of people all over the globe, even in the United States.

You can learn more at Natalie’s website or by clicking here.

Hey, my newest book, Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity, is due to release in January. But it’s now on the Zondervan website.

On that same page is a video of a talk I gave at the Zondervan sales conference in June. If you are interested in having me speak to your group, you may find the video helpful.

I’m now booking gigs for 2009, and the first three months I plan to focus on this topic. So if you’d like to have me speak to your group on this topic, at a retreat or an event, use the booking form on my website to put in your request.

The book is available for pre-order on amazon (at a nice discount!).  If you pre-order a copy from amazon, leave me a comment by clicking on the word “responses” below. I’d be glad to send you a signed, personalized bookplate to stick in your copy once you receive it.

My family and I just returned from a vacation in Yellowstone National Park and Grand Teton National Park. Five days spent hiking, seeing wildlife and just driving through some amazing scenery reminded me just how much I love being outside.

            I come alive when I am surrounded by natural beauty: mountains and waterfalls and sub-alpine meadows thick with wildflowers. My soul is fed by nature, connected to the Creator by the creation.

            I grew up hiking and spending time in woods, on trails. Bringing my children into this environment brought me great joy.

My husband, who grew up sailing, rather than hiking, found the adjustment a bit trying. He was full of questions about things that seemed obvious to me. He was a little cranky at times, perhaps feeling out of his element.      

            At one point, I must admit, the family togetherness became a little suffocating. I became excessively impatient, and demanded a moment alone. “help,” I cried, standing in a restaurant parking lot. I looked up at mountains soaked in the colors of the setting sun. And God spoke to me, listening to my complaints and even providing words for my prayer: “I lift up my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth.”

            God answered with an intense awareness of his presence, a reminder of his faithfulness, evoked in part by the view.

            I live where the world is flat, and not particularly beautiful. I absorbed mountain views as best I could, to last me until the next time.

 One thing was very clear to me after spending time in the wilderness. It feeds me in a way that nothing else does. Even living in the Midwest, my spiritual health requires spending time outside: gardening or walking or just sitting. I have an outdoor soul, and I need to nourish it by spending time in creation. Being out of doors inspires me to worshipping the God who came up with the idea of beauty in the first place.

So, what feeds your soul? What brings you into the presence of God? Where do you hear his voice most clearly?

I’d love to hear from you.

p.s. You can see more photos on my Facebook page. 

I was amazed at how quickly my newsletter readers responded to my question about the source for this quote from Thomas Merton. (which I want to quote in a book I’m working on). Although, I did offer a free book to the first person to respond. they all responded so quickly, I decided to send books to the first three respondents. So I’ll be sending books to Mary, Mary Lynn and Lisa. Thanks!

“The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation in violence. The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his work for peace. It destroys his own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of his own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.”

– Thomas Merton, “Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander”

Loving your kids looks different in every season of life. My darlings graduated sixth and eighth grade last month. These middle years are challenging, but so far, sort of fun.

Flexibility is key. As with physical flexibility, the more you stretch, the more flexible you become. So the way I stretch myself is to choose not to sweat the small stuff. My goal is to say “yes” whenever I can, picking my battles very carefully. So when my daughter asked if friends could come over, I say yes. When she asks if they can stay for dinner, I say yes (even tho it means taking the leftovers and adding pasta). When she changes plans and says they are now going to the pool and asks for a sandwich for dinner and ride home later, I say yes. I hadn’t even started boiling water for dinner anyway.

Now it’s early evening. Outside my window, my son and the neighbor kids are playing with the sprinkler, squirting each other. Apparently they thought it would be too much trouble to change into bathing suits, so they are in their clothes.

Other than telling my son to pull up his shorts so that less of his boxers are exposed, I don’t comment. Does it matter? Is it a moral issue? If not, I don’t turn it into an issue.

Parenting middle-schoolers is a chance, if you let it, to increase your patience and flexibility. An exercise, really, in spiritual formation.

I got a note from William in California this week, who wrote looking for writing advice.

Here’s part of what he sent: “My primary question revolves around the discussion of hiring an agent and finding a traditional publisher vs. self publishing.  I’ve written a ‘Christian living’ book that I truly believe has the potential to be a national best seller.  I would like to give it the best chance to reach the people that God has put it on my heart to write for.  My question is, what route do your feel has given your books the best opportunity to be read by the maximum number of people?”

There are a number of great sites that offer writing advice, including the ones that are on my blogroll. A wonderful site for beginning writers is my friend Mary DeMuth’s blog, which is http://wannabepublished.blogspot.com/

Briefly, though, self-publishing is only a good idea if you have a platform from which to sell the books yourself–say you are a motivational speaker and regularly speak to large audiences who can then buy your book, or if you have your own radio show or business where you can sell the book. So I’m a big believer in the traditional publishing route. If a book truly has potential to be a national best-seller, publishing companies (who have a lot of experience evaluating such claims) will recognize that potential.

I also recommend attending writers’ conferences, where you can meet with editors and publishers to talk to them about your idea, as well as take classes to improve your craft.