Deep Breathing for the Soul

Can I just say how much I enjoy summer? I’m writing on my laptop with the windows open to the evening chorus of songbirds. It’s warm but not so hot we need the air conditioning.

On my way home from work around 3 p.m., I drove past my friend Sharon’s house and saw her sitting on her front porch. I pulled in and sat and chatted with her for an hour–during which another neighbor, Kathy, came by and also joined us. This kind of thing simply can’t happen in the winter in Chicago.

Now, I had things to get done at home. But I wanted to connect with Sharon, and it was a gorgeous summer day. We just sat and caught up on life, our kids. We discussed things both trivial and deep. I just enjoy spending time with her. So without much effort, I chose to spend part of my day connecting with someone who brings me joy and laughter. I got to hear about the fun things going on in her life, and the challenges her family is facing. I know how to pray for her better after our conversation, and she offered some wisdom about some things going on in my life.

It feeds my soul to sit on a front step and talk with a friend. We often think soul care consists in studying the Bible or long times of solitude—which can be very helpful. But Jesus said the most important thing is to love God and love your neighbor. How can you love your neighbors if you don’t really take some time to know what’s going on in their lives? and when you are loved on by your neighbors, that feeds your soul as well.

I’m lucky to live in this neighborhood, and to have lived here for 17 years. Sharon and I have sons the same age, we were at their 8th grade graduation two days ago. We volunteered in their kindergarden class together, and now they are going to high school. Long term friendships like that are no small gift, and its important to nurture them.

This summer, I have a lot of work on my plate–book projects, my part-time job, stuff at home and with my kids. But I want to slow down enough to enjoy the amazing women God has put in my life. I want to be a friend who has time to stop and visit, to find the joy in the everyday.  To slow down enough to let summer and it’s spontaneous joys feed my soul.

As we listened to a message on Sabbath keeping a couple of weeks ago, my friend leaned over and whispered in my ear, “do you cook on Sabbath?”

It should be noted that I love to cook, while this friend does not.

So I whispered back, “Sometimes.”

The only thing we outlaw completely in our Sabbath practice is legalism. Often, we eat leftovers, or canned soup and sandwiches. But today, I planted herbs in the garden. and then, unexpectedly, my husband brought home sweet corn on the cob from the grocery store. It’s not corn season locally here in northern Illinois, that corn is likely from Florida or even Mexico. I worried about its quality, which could be compromised by its long journey from field to our table.

But fresh herbs cover a multitude of sins, so I thought my garden herbs might be able to rescue it. since I’d planned grilled chicken, I Googled grilled corn. I made an herb butter from the newly planted basil, my perennial thyme and parsley.

My family loved the simple dinner–grilled chicken, grilled corn with herb butter, rice and green beans. For me, cooking is a love language. when I can serve up something delicious, it is a way of showing love, a way of bringing joy to our table. When the weather turns warm, I seem to warm up to cooking. I stow the crock pot, fire up the grill, visit the garden and feel joy. When my kids say “Great dinner, mom,” I feel God’s’ smile.

Sabbath is a day to put aside the shoulds, the “ought to’s” and obligations. It is a day to connect with your family–in the garden or around the table. So should you cook on Sabbath? If it genuinely brings you joy and draws you closer to the heart of God. If it doesn’t, throw in a frozen pizza or open a box of cereal, and enjoy time with your family. Sabbath is about unhurried community, about joy. it is about refusing to feel guilt. If cooking brings that kind of freedom and joy to your life, then cook on Sabbath. But if cooking stresses you out and feels like drudgery or joyless work, then don’t do it. enjoy your freedom from cooking on this day. I think that’s what Jesus was talking about when he said the Sabbath was made for people, not people for the Sabbath.

Your thoughts?

also, here’s the corn recipe:

Take corn, carefully peel back husks, keeping them attached to the cob. Remove silk. Smooth husks back in place.

soak corn in cold water with a tablespoon or two of sugar for 15 minutes, then drain.

Grill corn in husks about 3 to 5 minutes per side.

Carefully pull back husks, grill corn until slightly charred, 5 to 10 minutes, turning occasionally.

slather with butter mixed with minced herbs and lime juice.

A few days ago, a group of readers and I gathered for the first “Rest event.” Thanks to my assistant Wendy Rosman, we enjoyed a terrific lunch at the Inverness Golf Club. Over lunch, we had a great discussion about Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity.

The group had great things to say about the book. A number of them noted that Rest is a book that invites you to practice Sabbath, in a “no guilt, no legalism” way.

Here’s what one reviewer said about the book: “I love that she emphasizes the freedom of Sabbath; that it is not a list of unrealistic or legalistic rules, but an encouragement to stop and recognize and celebrate God’s place in our lives, our relationships, our jobs, and our world in whatever ways we can. While still keeping her characteristic gentle voice, Kent brings the reader to realize that Christians need to move beyond a life where our relationships with God are pushed into a convenient corner as we go through the busy-ness of our days. Sabbath, Kent teaches, “is a day to rest and refresh ourselves, but it is so much more. It is a day to remember. Our remembering creation, deliverance and salvation points us toward remembering the deep love God has for us.”

While the book officially releases on Jan. 1, you can pre-order it from on-line sellers. Christianbook.com, where a number of readers who got advanced copies have put reviews, says that orders will ship “on or around Dec. 5″ which is today. Click here to read reviews or order the book. You can also order Rest, starting today, by calling Zondervan Publishing’s Church Source department at 800-727-3480.

One of the radio stations I listen to in the car has started its annual tradition of playing only Christmas music during the holidays. But instead of starting on Dec. 1, they’ve already started! I love Christmas music, but I thought it was a little early for it.

But Christmas is coming. Every year, I tell myself I’m going to keep things simple, and fun. Not always an easy goal to achieve. But I found a great little book that has some wonderful suggestions, in a very cute format. A Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts is a great book for yourself or as a gift. It is a compilation by six authors, and I know several of them personally. They’re real women with families, jobs and stress, but they’ve put together a great little book that I really enjoyed reading. Here’s the review I posted on amazon for the book.

What a sweet little book! Fun, accessible graphics present tips for simplifying your holidays, vintage poetry, trivia, verses, recipes and “Chicken Soup” style inspiring stories, assembled in a scrapbook style. This charming book creates a beautiful harmony from the unique voices of its six authors. It would make a great “open before Christmas” gift. It’s homespun look and content are a reminder that the holidays are a time to celebrate and enjoy, not to stress over!

A number of you are now reading my forth-coming book, REST: LIVING IN SABBATH SIMPLICITY. Don’t forget, if you’re someone who got a copy of the galleys, that you agreed to read and review the book on-line.

 Apparently, you can’t post reviews on amazon.com until the book actually releases. But seven readers have already posted reviews on www.christianbook.com, and a few more have posted on www.BarnesandNoble.com. To post your review on Christianbook, just click on this link, which will take you to the page for REST. Scroll down to the bottom and click on the link that says “Write a review of Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity.”

Jan O’Daniel, freelance writer and blogger, posted her review, and she’s also running a review on her blog today. She’s got a great blog, called Elevate the Everyday. Like me, she writes about connecting faith and real life. Please stop by and leave a comment on her blog. I think it’s one you’ll want to read regularly. You can check it out at by clicking here.

If you are reading REST, please post your review by December 30. Be sure to let me know when it’s there, because those who post reviews will receive a free copy of the book!

Also, my free e-mail newsletter, Connecting, will be out next week, and I’m going to be giving away several books this month! If you’re not yet a subscriber, just click on the “subscribe” link on the right hand side of this page.

Tuesday is the best night, because neither of my kids has practice. No driving, no working in dinner around sports and carpools.

So after dinner, Aaron and I lay on the two couches in the living room, reading. Sweet silence, punctuated by the occasional sound of turning pages (truly one of my favorite sounds in the world).

And Aaron says, “Mom, want to hear a great literary device?” He’s reading To Kill A Mockingbird. “Of course,” I say. He reads this great line: “bacon frying, crisp as the twilight air.” Thank you, Harper Lee. What a sentence. Even better: that my 12-year-old recognizes a good sentence when he reads one,  and that he knew I would love to hear it.

No matter that he is counting the pages until he is done with his reading assignment for the night.  To share a literary moment with my pre-teen boy is a gift, and I try to savor the gratitude that rushes into my heart.

Last week we gave away free copies of my new book Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity. Those of you who responded will be getting something from Zondervan in the next month or so.

 Speaking of Sabbath, I got yet another letter from a reader who wanted to know why I think Sunday should be Sabbath. Well, centuries of tradition for one thing. But, actually, it’s a legitimate question. James wrote:
“I just read your article on “A Day set apart” on Christianitytoday.com. I really liked most of it, but my problem is I am confused where you got the idea that Sunday, is Sabbath?  In your article you quote about the 4th commandment…you also quote from Genesis where the evening and the morning constitute one day. So how is it that you yourself are confused about “what day” is the Sabbath day?  Continue Reading »

I am about 5000 words away from finishing a book manuscript, you can tell that I’ve been writing more than normal because my house looks like a disaster!

At our house, we each have a chore every week. Last week, mine was to sweep and Swiffer the tile floor in the kitchen and entryway. This week, it was dishes. Today, I finally got to the floor, and spent a half an hour unloading and re-loading the dishwasher and washing pots and pans I’d left undone yesterday.

When other people in my family leave their chores undone, it’s sometimes hard for me to show them grace. I get impatient or mad. But I’m the one who’s being the slacker this week. I had other priorities.

I’m grateful for a family that shows grace. They’ve helped out and not nagged, been supportive and patient. They reminded me, without saying a word, of how I need to be willing to show them the grace they’ve shown me.

Summer weekends for the last two decades or so, I’ve visited my in-laws. It’s not so bad. They happen to live on a lake less than two hours from our house.

            I grew up in a small, quiet family. We lived long plane rides away from our extended family, for the most part—although I had a second cousin who was my age in Chicago who I saw frequently when I was a child.

            But large family gatherings just didn’t happen, and certainly not every weekend.

            When you get married, you don’t just marry the person. You marry into their family—even if you don’t see them every weekend, because each of us is shaped by the family we grew up in. I’m learning that when I embrace this truth, I strengthen my marriage, and my family. 

            My husband is from a large family (although not as large as some others on the lake). Three of the five siblings have two kids each, so there are six grandchildren, including my two kids.    The oldest, my niece, the baby in our wedding pictures, will leave for college next weekend. She’s become an amazing young woman, who is going to study medicine at Johns Hopkins, and we’re all so proud of her we find ways to bring up her accomplishments in conversations with complete strangers. The youngest, my nephew, is three, and his favorite word is “why?” (with “no” a close second).

            I have grown to love my nieces and nephews in a way I didn’t think was possible. They have, over the course of their lifetimes, wriggled their way into my heart. My eight-year-old niece was catching butterflies in a plastic cup this weekend. She captured what turned out to be a moth, and when we tried to release it, it sat on the tin-foil lid. I put my finger next to its tender feet, and it climbed onto my finger and sat there, quite content. We watched it wriggle its antennae and extend its coiled tongue to drink nectar from a flower. We gently passed it from my finger to my niece’s hand, where it simply sat for a while, tamed momentarily in a quiet moth miracle.

            When we celebrate birthdays at the lake, we pull out these tacky cardboard hats that my mother-in-law keeps in the closet. These hats (some say “happy new year” on them) have been in that closet since way before I entered the family. When my nephew turned three and had cake at home, he reportedly asked, “Where’s the hats?”

            For my children, though, dinner with twelve to fifteen people has become normal. Chaos and laughter have become normal. They’ve made memories that revolve around being a part of a large, loud family.

            And after two decades, I’m learning to embrace being a part of that family. For years I thought of them as my husband’s family, but I am realizing that they are my family too. I’m learning to say to my husband and my in-laws, as Ruth said to her mother-in-law, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16)

Hey, my newest book, Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity, is due to release in January. But it’s now on the Zondervan website.

On that same page is a video of a talk I gave at the Zondervan sales conference in June. If you are interested in having me speak to your group, you may find the video helpful.

I’m now booking gigs for 2009, and the first three months I plan to focus on this topic. So if you’d like to have me speak to your group on this topic, at a retreat or an event, use the booking form on my website to put in your request.

The book is available for pre-order on amazon (at a nice discount!).  If you pre-order a copy from amazon, leave me a comment by clicking on the word “responses” below. I’d be glad to send you a signed, personalized bookplate to stick in your copy once you receive it.