Deep Breathing for the Soul

I can be a very task-oriented person. I love words, facts, ideas. As a result, I’m a good communicator, a strong writer. But because of those strengths, I can end up, if I’m not careful, lonely, isolated.

This summer I have two huge writing projects on my desk. And I’m working away on them (which is one reason why you haven’t seen much from me on this blog lately). But I try to take time in each day for some face time (not just Facebook) with friends, my kids and husband. I need to connect with real people in my real life, to talk, to listen, to do things together.

So I took my kids to the city to go out to breakfast and then to visit Willow’s Chicago campus. I went bike riding with friends, had lunch with another friend. We were created for community, and while I value the on-line community I find on certain blogs and Facebook, we all need actual face to face connection with other people.

How do you connect with others? How do you find friends?

Next week, I’ll meet with a writer’s group I recently joined. I actually sort of begged to get in, knowing I need other writers to talk to–people who assure me I’m not so strange. We chat via email a lot, sharing updates about our writing and careers, sharing links to stuff we’ve published online, and so on. While that’s fun, it’s not as deep as what gets shared when we gather in someone’s living room after the kids are in bed and talk about the challenges and joys of our writing journey.

We were all made for community. If we are seeking to follow Christ, we need others who can encourage us on that journey. We were never made to go it alone, especially spiritually.  What I want to know is–where do you find community and connection? If that’s missing from your life, what’s one step you could take to seek it out?

So, the kids are out of school, we had houseguests for a week, the weather’s getting warmer, I took a part-time job for just a few hours a week. I have endless excuses as to why I am not writing more.

I need to write. It helps if I have an actual project, with a deadline. There’s nothing like a deadline to motivate you. But even without a deadline, my life makes more sense to me if I write things down. I can’t even really think unless I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). sometimes, work and self-care are intimately intertwined.

Today, I had lunch with a writer friend. While it feels like an indulgence to enjoy sushi, tea and “writer talk,” it’s actually very good for me to be with other writers. They remind me of my calling, my focus, my job. They remind me, ever so gently, to get my butt in the chair and just write.

So this afternoon, when I thought I didn’t have time, I realized I had about two hours. Instead of piddling around on Facebook, I made myself work on my as-yet uncontracted book. It helps to have a goal, so I set one: to write a few good chapters, to submit to a critique group my writer friend invited me to be a part of.

In that two hours, I wrote 1329 words. That’s a good day’s work for me, sometimes. So what if I found a couple of hours each day, and just wrote? What if I made time for the things that really matter to me? My excuses might evaporate.

What goals are you putting off? what do you need to do to move forward?

I spoke at a women’s breakfast at my church Saturday. My topic was Sabbath Simplicity. As usual, there were questions after my talk. And again, as usual, some of those questions had nothing to do with my topic. Instead, they focused on my profession.

They ask: How did you become a writer? by which the questioner actually means, how can I become a writer?

I became a writer by studying writing in college, then working for ten years as a newspaper reporter. There are plenty of other paths to publication, but that was mine. I often want to push back when people talk about being a writer, and ask them if they write. I mean, do they sit down, alone, and actually try to form sentences? Even in a journal? A blog? Or on the novel they are secretly working on?

This is, unfortunately, where it breaks down for a lot of people. Well, they would write, if they had more time. They plan to start someday. If you don’t write, you are not a writer. Yet. Henry David Thoreau said, “Your priorities are what you do.” Yep.

Writers write. They do it whether they get published or not. Because writing, at least for me, is part of how I make sense of the world. But I also work at my craft, trying to make it better. I read books about how to write, I practice writing, and I work at marketing what I write.

If you want to be a writer, I’d suggest you visit the websites listed on the right side of this blog. Especially Mary DeMuth’s blog, http://wannabepublished.blogspot.com/

Mary is an excellent writer, the author of several books, and best of all, she feels called to help aspiring writers.

 Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune–without the words,
And never stops at all…

(Emily Dickinson)

            A few weeks ago, I sent out a query—a short note proposing an article—to a magazine I’ve written for many times: Discipleship Journal.

            I got a reply from the editor, who knows me and my work. She told me that she would have loved to have me write another article, except for one small snag: DJ is ceasing publication. The May/June issue, which just went to press, will be their last. Their sister publication, Pray!, is also, well, done. She was kind enough to say how much she enjoyed working with me.

            Normally by this time of year, I am turning down requests for speaking engagements because my September and October calendar is full. But this year, my fall calendar looks like the Mohave Desert.

            The economy is shifting. Freelance writing and editing, which was never easy, has gotten harder. Things are changing. Finding work (which is always a big part of my job) is becoming more difficult.

            As a freelancer, there’s always a tension between finding work, and doing that work. You have to always be doing both.

            So I have a choice: sit and moan about the changes, or find a new way to practice my craft. Remember the popular leadership book a few years ago, Who Moved my Cheese? Someone has moved the cheese, and we have to adapt in order to survive. We must choose hope.

            The apostle Paul wrote: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

          In the midst of difficulty, there is hope. But we must be able to shift, to change, to adapt.

            One shift I’m making: putting my creativity (one of my strengths) into marketing. I’m improving my website. Yesterday I helped edit promo videos to put on YouTube. I’m thinking about new ways to do retreats (such as a small writer’s retreat that may be in the works). I’m spending a little time each day writing chapters for a book that’s in proposal form on several editor’s desks—as an act of faith. I’m sending out more queries.

            And I’m asking God for help. So often, we get mired in despair and we forget to ask for God’s assistance. Prayer is a powerful tool, for changing both our circumstances and our attitudes. I’m choosing to be hopeful.

            An old chorus we used to sing at church runs through my head: “on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand…” On that rock, we are able to regain perspective, and see a new path. We learn to trust. We can choose to hope.

            How are things changing for you? What truths do you cling to? What actions will you take to adapt?

My very first article for Christianity Today ran in this month’s issue. You can get a print copy at your favorite Christian bookstore, or check it out on-line, where it was posted today.

It’s on the magazine page http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/, as well the corporate site (with all company publications) http://www.christianitytoday.com/. The permanent URL is http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2008/october/28.46.html.

Interviewing Anne was a real treat, and I’m delighted to have an article published in CT.

I am about 5000 words away from finishing a book manuscript, you can tell that I’ve been writing more than normal because my house looks like a disaster!

At our house, we each have a chore every week. Last week, mine was to sweep and Swiffer the tile floor in the kitchen and entryway. This week, it was dishes. Today, I finally got to the floor, and spent a half an hour unloading and re-loading the dishwasher and washing pots and pans I’d left undone yesterday.

When other people in my family leave their chores undone, it’s sometimes hard for me to show them grace. I get impatient or mad. But I’m the one who’s being the slacker this week. I had other priorities.

I’m grateful for a family that shows grace. They’ve helped out and not nagged, been supportive and patient. They reminded me, without saying a word, of how I need to be willing to show them the grace they’ve shown me.

I hope you‘ll all pick up a copy of the current issue of Today’s Christian Woman magazine. In it you’ll find my interview with Christian recording artist Natalie Grant.

Natalie is so sweet and she is a woman who is putting her faith in Jesus into some serious action. She’s started a great organization called the Home Foundation  to fight against sexual trafficking and human slavery, which affects millions of people all over the globe, even in the United States.

You can learn more at Natalie’s website or by clicking here.

I got a note from William in California this week, who wrote looking for writing advice.

Here’s part of what he sent: “My primary question revolves around the discussion of hiring an agent and finding a traditional publisher vs. self publishing.  I’ve written a ‘Christian living’ book that I truly believe has the potential to be a national best seller.  I would like to give it the best chance to reach the people that God has put it on my heart to write for.  My question is, what route do your feel has given your books the best opportunity to be read by the maximum number of people?”

There are a number of great sites that offer writing advice, including the ones that are on my blogroll. A wonderful site for beginning writers is my friend Mary DeMuth’s blog, which is http://wannabepublished.blogspot.com/

Briefly, though, self-publishing is only a good idea if you have a platform from which to sell the books yourself–say you are a motivational speaker and regularly speak to large audiences who can then buy your book, or if you have your own radio show or business where you can sell the book. So I’m a big believer in the traditional publishing route. If a book truly has potential to be a national best-seller, publishing companies (who have a lot of experience evaluating such claims) will recognize that potential.

I also recommend attending writers’ conferences, where you can meet with editors and publishers to talk to them about your idea, as well as take classes to improve your craft.