Deep Breathing for the Soul

It’s not the first time I’ve disagreed with John Piper. But this week, he declared that God’s intention for Christianity (never mind that the Bible tells us that we cannot know his intentions or reasons) is for it to have a “masculine feel,” the Christian Post reported this week.

I am a Christian in  spite of this kind of nonsense. As I mentioned in a comment on the report, Genesis 1:27 draws a clear parallel between two key phrases: “image of God,” and “male and female” –the unity of men and women reflects the unity of the Trinity. Understand–I think John Piper is sincere in his effort to follow Jesus. I just happen to think he’s absolutely wrong on this.

In just a few minutes, Dr. Piper did so much damage to the kingdom. What scares and saddens me is that at this big conference, hundreds of people (mostly men) nodded their heads in agreement, and perhaps resolved to keep half the church from using their gifts to God’s glory.  This is not okay.

I loved the response of Rachel Held Evans, who shared some excellent thoughts, but then asked Christian brothers to send her blog posts in response.

For a very thoughtful, scholarly but quite readable response from a Christian man, check out this post on the Radical Femininity of Christ at the Disoriented Theology blog.

Click over and read the Christian Post article, and tell me–do you agree or disagree with Piper? And then: what do you suppose motivated him to speak on this topic?

Tags: Bible, christian post, church, feminine, femininity of Christ, feminist, John Piper, masculine

A snowy weekend, spent in serving others: yesterday, a meal for a friend whose husband is in the hospital; time spent listening and loving on that friend.  Today, taking a friend’s kids for the day, playing in the snow with them, then gathering ’round the table for a home cooked meal.

But our service this morning at church stopped me in my do-gooder tracks. My quite progressive protestant church prayed an ancient prayer of St. Patrick:

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

We sang “Christ, be the Center,” and my heart ached. And that same Christ whispered, are you serving me? Or pleasing people? They look quite similar. Only he can see past the exterior, and in perfect love, he invited me to join him in examining my motives.

I find them mixed. I act not just to please people, but out of genuine love. My love language of cooking took form as a scratch chocolate cake for an 8 year old’s birthday, homemade beef stew for a friend, homemade pot roast for family and friends. My children, who had been away all weekend, were home tonight, eating pot roast and thanking me out loud for expressing my love to them in this way. I was not looking for approval so much as expressing affection. But am I doing it for people, or for Christ? I want Christ to be the center.

In this moment of questioning my own motives, Jesus comes steady and puts his arm around me. What you do for the least of these, you do for me, he reassures. This weekend I experienced “Christ in the hearts of all who love me,” and was able to be Christ to them–with an hour sledding with children or with pot roast and chocolate cake.

Christ, be the center. My prayer today, and in the days to come.

Tags: Center, children, Christ, cooking, food, joy, love, service, St. Patrick

So as I posted below, I want to add a sponsor child to our family. We already sponsor two kids through World Vision, but I’m feeling challenged to do more. To write more often to the kids we do sponsor, and to add another child, this time through Compassion (I have great respect for both organizations). Lately, when I troll sites written by sponsors, especially ones talking about sponsors who visit their kids, (like this one) I end up in tears. And as Frederick Buechner wrote, when you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected ones, it is well to pay the closest attention.

Here’s a video I found on Compassion’s website. Click through to watch it: 28031411. Why wouldn’t I do without a few things so that a child in desperate circumstances can have food, clean water, education and a chance to hear about Jesus?

I have a dream of sponsoring a whole bunch of kids. For some reason, God has put the country of Uganda on my heart. Uganda, it seems from my limited research, is a mess. High rates of AIDS, extreme poverty, war. Ugg. Part of me asks God, um, really? Uganda?

It feels a little strange looking through pictures on Compassion’s website–almost as if I am somehow “shopping.” Some kids have a little heart on the margin of their photo, which I see means that they have been waiting for six months or more for a sponsor. This again, makes me teary.

http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm

So I am looking for a child, asking God which one. I am not seeking the cutest or the brightest. I’m looking for one who might not be the first to be selected. The lost lamb. the one whose performance in school is average at best. I do want to sponsor a girl, because I know they are at a disadvantage just because of their gender.

I don’t actually have the extra money for this now, despite cutbacks in our spending. But I know God will provide, through me, for a child.

I dare you to join me in this adventure. Head over to Compassion.com or worldvision.org and let God lead you to a child who needs you.

Girls need pampering now and then. Most of us include a few girly maintenance/stress-relievers in our budget: pedicures, manicures, massage, a bit of retail therapy.

I live a stressful life, in my opinion. My job puts me sitting at a computer for hours, causing stiffness. I’m raising teenagers while battling deadlines for books and freelance work. Juggling multiple projects, and facing uncertainty about how much my freelancing will earn each month. To improve my health and detox from stress, I treat myself to a massage once a month. With tip, it costs $74. For a number of reasons, I recently decided that luxury items are getting deleted from our household budget.

So I figured I could invest that $76 a month in stocks or bonds, to help fund college for my daughter. But then I felt God’s nudge to invest it in his kingdom.

My daughter with a little girl she met in South Africa

What if I put half that money away for my girl, and used the other half to offer opportunity to another girl? What if I asked myself, what do girls really need?

Then I read Just a Minute: In the heart of a child, one moment … can last forever  by Wess Stafford (President of Compassion International). He tells stories (many of which brought me tears) of key moments in the life of children. And I thought—how could I change the life of a child? Especially a girl. In the developing world, girls are considered a liability and if there’s only a little food, the boys will be fed first. If a family has funds for one child to go to school, the boys will also get first dibs on those resources. Girls are sometimes vulnerable in their own homes.

A report from the World Bank, Girls’ Education in the 21st Century: Gender Equality, Empowerment, and Economic Growth, states: “Women’s economic empowerment is essential for economic development, growth, and poverty reduction—not only because of the income it generates, but also because it helps to break the vicious cycle of poverty.”

Research has also shown that when you educate boys, they tend to leave their families and rural villages, taking their educated selves to cities to find jobs. But when you educate girls, they tend to stay in their home village—often starting small businesses, improving the life of their family, even the entire village. Most experts on poverty agree that educating girls brings more “bang for the buck” when it comes to economic development.

I realized that for $38 a month, I could sponsor a little girl through Compassion. I could “reduce stress” for someone else: stress of being hungry or abused, or not having clothes to stay warm. I could send a girl to school, and in that moment, change her life.

For $76, the amount I was spending on my monthly “stress relief,” I could sponsor two girls.

When my neck gets stiff, and my reflexive thought is, “I need a massage,” I want to think about how I define “need.” God’s asking me to stare my privilege in the face and maybe slap it. By sponsoring two little girls, I can keep them from far greater discomfort than I suffer.  What do they “need”? In a world where girls are more likely to be abused, uneducated, or ignored, I am trading my luxury for their survival.

What can you buy for $38? A pedicure, maybe. Or a pair of pants or blouse, on sale at LOFT. A sweatshirt and yoga pants from Target. A purse at T.J. Maxx. Two overpriced coffees a week, for a month. Which of those do you “need”?

What would happen if we redirected our resources from luxuries we don’t need to girls who really are in need? What if, in the next minute, you decided to pack your lunch instead of eating out, or decided to wear last year’s jeans instead of buying new ones? And in that moment, redirected resources that could change a girl’s life?

Tags: compassion, girls, helping girls, JAMbook, just a minute, poverty, social justice, wess stafford

One of the gifts God plunked in my lap about one year ago was a chance to be a part of the team at C. Grant & Co. Marketing. We do all sorts of creative marketing, using social media, creating content, and so on.

One of our newest projects is a website where we have weekly contests to give away free books. If you’d like to win free books, I’d encourage you to visit the WinBooksWeekly site.  Each week, we give away five copies of a non-fiction book. At a similar site, http://freefictionfriday.weebly.com/, we give away fiction books.

This week, we’re giving away my book, Making Room for God in Your Hectic Life.  It offers practical advice on slowing down, simplifying and resting. The book includes interviews with real women who are taking steps to slow down the pace of their lives so that they can really listen to God, and to the people around them. One nugget from the book: “You cannot love in a hurry.”

While that’s true, you do have to hurry to win a copy of this book–the contest ends Friday. Visit http://winbooksweekly.weebly.com/ or follow @wheregodis on Twitter to find out how.

Tags: books, free, free books, God, making room for God, pace of life, sabbath, sabbath simplicity, simplicity, slowing, win, win books weekly

The glow of New Year’s resolutions still shimmers, though after a week it may be fading.

Often, our self-improvement plans focus on overcoming weaknesses. But what if, instead, we put all of our energy into developing greater competency within our strengths?

Michael Hyatt is blogging today about a book that changed his life (and mine): Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton. Their simple but profound premise, (and I’m quoting Mike here):  The best way to get ahead in your career and be satisfied in your job is to focus on developing your strengths.

A year or two ago, my husband and I took the Strengths Finder test and a class on it to understand it. We took it hoping for career direction, it unexpectedly helped us to better understand each other. Knowing my strengths has also helped me to move forward in my career, in the way I parent,even deciding how to spend my time, the relationships I cultivate, etc.

My strengths are:

Strategic–this theme, “enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route… This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity.”

Learner –this is someone who likes to learn, who is drawn to the process of learning. It often doesn’t matter what topic you’re studying, you just like the process of learning.

Intellection–this is someone who enjoys mental activity, likes to stretch their brain in solving problems.

Acheiver–as it sounds, this strength means you are driven and want to achieve something tangible every day.

Relator–this describes an attitude toward relationships, which pulls you toward deeper friendships with people you already know (as opposed to other strengths that are more about getting to know new people)

Do you know your strengths? Are you using them in your job, in your parenting, in your ministry?

Read Mike Hyatt’s blog, which gives more detail about the Strengths, then let me know what you think. Do you know your strengths? Are you using them in your daily life?

Tags: Marcus Buckingham, strength, StrengthFinder, success

New Year’s Eve morning feels a bit like New Year’s Day, since we attended a “New Year’s Eve EVE” party last night. My family slumbers on at 9:30 a.m. as I sip coffee and reflect.

The turn of the calendar page means I will exercise more and organize my office and try to eat less chocolate and resolve to dust the furniture regularly. Or so I say.

Resolutions are a plan for change, but most are abandoned by February, for various reasons. It’s not that we don’t need to change, it’s that we choose to try to change the wrong things, and use the wrong methods.

My plan for self-improvement might not match God’s plans for transformation. He is in the business of changing lives, of outright miraculous transformation. So the question for this window of time, the turning of the year, is not, how can I do some self-improvement to impress God (and other people), but this: how can I listen to the whisper of God, and stay focused on him? How can I respond to that voice in a way that will evoke change—the kind that transforms my heart, slow and sure?

At the party last night, as often occurs, I found it difficult to hear conversation because of the level of background noise. I know, at age 48, my hearing is compromised—when I am in a crowded room trying to hold a conversation I’m aware of my handicap. I lean in, cup my hand discreetly behind my ear, strain to listen.

Could it be that our life, even in the pain and stress of it, is like a crowded party, with countless conversations swirling? Could it be that we try to listen to God in the midst of noise and distractions? And then complain he’s hard to hear? Today, think about the noise level in your life—not just auditory distractions, but the noise of being too busy, of trying to please too many people. Perhaps, like me, there’s also an inner hum of my own complaining, an annoying buzz of my own making. Perhaps the thing we need to resolve is to take just a few minutes each day to be quiet, to pull away from the distractions so that we can hear the voice of love that will transform us.

I want to start a revolution against resolutions, which in the end only defeat us when we can’t keep them.

What do you need to do to get away from the distractions so that you can really listen to God?

Sometimes the best gift you can give someone is prayer, even if you don’t know them. Today, many of us are last-minute shopping and wrapping, desperate to figure out what would be the perfect gift. Take a few minutes to read this beautiful guest post from Linda Bryant, a long time friend whose tender, reflective writing flows from her soul. Be sure to click over and visit Linda’s blog, Linda Bryant Online: Embracing Joy in the Midst of Change.  (By the way, Linda is an expert at giving thoughtful gifts. Note the watering can mentioned in this post. Another time, she knitted me a scarf with colors of the sunset, because of our mutual love of sunsets. In that spirit, I give you the gift of this post, which she kindly gave to me to share with you.)

When the Bryant family gives Tom and Judy their Christmas gift this year, we have a story to tell them. What they don’t know is that the author of their gift, Keri, prayed for them over a decade ago. We’re almost as excited to tell them about this as we are to give them a copy of her latest books, Deeper into the Word Old Testament and Deeper into the Word New Testament.

Keri and I were in a small group and during that time, we committed to pray for our friends who had yet to experience a personal relationship with God. The people on my heart were my neighbors, Tom and Judy. We prayed expectantly for their hearts to be open to conversations about God.

About that time, Keri’s second book, The Garden of the Soul, was published. I ‘thought’ of a brilliant idea. While shopping with Judy, I bought a simple, decorative watering can for Keri to celebrate the release of her book. Since Judy was also an avid gardener, I tried to guide our conversation toward matters of the heart. As we moved deeper into that ‘soil,’ Judy clearly shut the door. She wasn’t ready. So, we kept praying.

A year later, I sadly watched Tom and Judy move to Minneapolis. I felt like my family and others had faithfully planted seeds in their hearts and wondered if they would take their next step toward God in Minnesota. Many kept praying and waiting.

Each December Tom and Judy returned to Illinois so we began a tradition of gathering around our kitchen table for breakfast on Christmas Eve. This prompted many fervent prayers about what would be the right gift to give them. A few years ago, we sensed a prompting to give them a Bible. They graciously, and even a bit eagerly, received it. We were grateful for God’s leading. Were the seeds beginning to grow?

Imagine my utter joy when I received a phone call later that year from Judy who proclaimed, “I get it!” Step by step, she described her faith journey and ultimate acceptance of a personal relationship with God. She admitted that her heart had begun to be tender toward God during the season when I and others, including Keri, began praying for them. In case you’re wondering, Tom made the same decision to follow God a short time before Judy.

Now our Christmas Eve breakfasts provide a joyful and holy entrance into Christmas Day for all of us. We stand in awe of these two lives transformed by the love and power of God. They are both growing in their faith and love their Heavenly Father deeply. And they are challenging us in our own spiritual growth!

This Christmas it was easy to choose the perfect gifts for Tom and Judy. Keri’s newest books will wisely and tenderly lead them into knowledge that will deepen their relationship with God. I haven’t wrapped them yet because I keep peeking inside and reading another word topic. I honestly can’t wait to engage in conversations with them in the coming months about their fresh discoveries.

But it wasn’t until a few days ago that this gift really hit me. Sure, I knew that Keri’s writing would encourage their growth. But, Keri had prayed for them. Her fingerprints are on those seeds planted in their hearts. And I am confident, that through the gift of her writing, her fingerprints will be on the fruit that their lives bear for Jesus. How amazing is that? Perhaps the word ‘harvest’ applies here.

I can’t wait to tell Tom and Judy all about it.

Who are you giving the gift of prayer to this season? Where have you seen prayers answered?

Tags: books, christmas, gift ideas, gifts, holiday, last-minute, prayer, presents

When my daughter was a preschooler, one of her favorite movies was Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the classic stop motion animation film from Rakin-Bass. (Watch the whole thing on YouTube here) she also loved Santa Claus is coming to Town, made by the same producers in the same unique style.

She had lines and lines of dialog memorized, which she would spout off while riding in her carseat or sitting at the dinner table. “Herbie! There’s a pile-up a mile long behind you!” “I’m just fixing this doll’s teeth.” “Herbie! You’re an elf! Elves can’t be dentists!” There’s this whole terrific theme of misfits who find a home, following your passions, seeing people’s differences as wonderful–it’s a great movie. And yes, it does include Santa Claus.

I think it’s interesting how many Christians have angst over Santa Claus, a myth that developed from the stories of a generous Christian man, St. Nicholas. So yes, I let my kids believe in Santa. I don’t remember ever telling them directly, they sort of picked it up from the culture, and I just played along. And when they questioned it, I would say, “Well, what do you think?” I kept it all very mysterious.

Santa represents, in some ways, grace. I could talk to my daughter as a preschooler about the idea of “grace” all day long. But she didn’t really understand it until she’d experienced it. She was quite verbal–when she was in kindergarten she actually had this conversation with me: “Is Santa going to come?” I simply replied, “Why, have you been bad?” She looked worried and quickly answered, “Well, yes!” I simply smiled and said, “It’s okay.” “I”m just so anxious for him to come,” she told me. And yet, despite her awareness of her own sinfulness, she received some presents that year from Santa Claus. She experienced grace.

I find it interesting that some Christians don’t want to “lie” to their kids so they sit them down and tell them Santa’s a fraud from the get-go. And sometimes then tell them–don’t tell the other kids at school. (in other words, ask their kids to lie). This is, in my opinion, just wrong. Preschool kids can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality–they watch Toy Story and honestly believe Woody and Buzz Lightyear are real people. And that’s okay. Engaging full-on with pretending is part of childhood we should not steal from them. To actually imagine things is part of how we develop a Christian imagination.

I’m guest blogging at her.meneutics, the Christianity blog for women, about “Why Santa Belongs in Your Kids’ Christmas”  so I hope you’ll go over and read not only my thoughts but the comments. What do you think? Did you let your kids believe in Santa?

My daughter, who is now 17, is at church tonight, with an unbeliever she invited to our Christmas eve services. She loves Jesus and never, ever thought, “if Santa’s  not real, maybe Jesus isn’t either.” She’s smarter than that.

Tags: preschool, pretend, Santa Claus, Santa myth, St. Nicholas

Fellow Redbud Writer Shari Dragovich is blogging today about creativity, after reading about the Old Testament word “create” in my newest Deeper into the Word book. She’s exploring the lies we sometimes believe about our own creativity, or lack of it. She writes:

Have you ever heard a friend or loved one (or stranger, for that matter) say, “Oh, I don’t have a creative bone in my body”? Or maybe you’re the guilty one.

Often, the line wriggles its way into conversations regarding craftiness – card making, sewing, scrapbooking, decorating… anything with an –ing at the end of it. And in every situation, it’s uttered out of a comparison: you are creative because you craft like Martha Stewart, but since I don’t, then I must not be creative at all.

Read the rest of Created to Create by clicking here. I know you’ll enjoy Shari’s insightful blog. And be sure to tell her I sent you!

Tags: Bible, bible words, blog, creativity, Deeper into the Word, redbud writers, Shari Dragovich