Deep Breathing for the Soul

Every person is creative. Why? Because we are made in the image of our Creator.

So every person is, in some way, an artist. some work with paint, or words, or clay. Others mold little lives, or shape the story of a company, or make something beautiful by providing care as a doctor, EMT, therapist. Still others bring order out of chaos.

But some folks don’t realize they are artists, so they don’t nurture their creativity. They say, “I’m not creative” and this becomes truth as a result.

For those of you believe in your own creativity, who want to nurture your inner artist, who want to dedicate your art (whether that be painting, dance, writing, music or whatever) to God, I have a recommendation. Plan to attend the Karitos Christian Arts Conference next month.

I happen to be speaking at this gathering. I’ll lead three seminars, and give a keynote on Saturday afternoon. Learn more at www.karitos.com

Tags: arts, conference, creative, creativity, spiritual

My son Aaron waded gingerly into the murky water of the pond in the front lawn of our church. Along with hundreds of other people, he was getting baptized. In a large church like ours, baptism is a spectacle of sorts. People picnic on the lawn and cheer as a dozen people at a time are dunked under the water.

Ten feet out from the wooden stairs into the lake was Scott Rubin, the leader of Elevate, our junior high ministry. Scott knows our family, and knows Aaron. In a church that baptizes 300 people at a time and has close to 20,000 attending each weekend, it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. To have someone know you is no small gift.

As Aaron stood between Scott and Jason (another leader from Elevate), I watched from the dock, my camera ready. He had gone into the pond with serious intentions—he did not take this step lightly. But as they stood there, waiting for others to make their way to other pastors and elders standing in the pond, Scott began talking to Aaron. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I watched Aaron’s expression change from serious to tender. He looked as if he were about to cry. I lifted my sunglasses so he could see my eyes, which were also filled with tears. Thankfully, my daughter was beside me taking photos, because I was too caught up in the moment to do much with my own camera.

He told me later that Scott had told him, “Aaron, you’ve got a great family, but this is just about you. God is watching you this moment, and this is about you and God.”

I’m sure that Scott said more to my boy in those few moments in the pond. I know he and Jason baptized a lot of junior high kids that day, and it would be easy for it to begin to feel routine for them. But I am so grateful that he made an effort to speak truth to my son, to affirm and encourage him in this important step. Scott and his wife Lynette have loved on both my kids for years, and I’m so incredibly grateful for their ministry at our church.

We talked at dinner about what happened—in his typical 13-year-old introvert way, he just told us some of the things Scott had said, and that he had felt like he might cry. He didn’t really tell us much about what he had felt, but when he came out of the water, he said he felt “achieved.” Which, I didn’t tell him, is not a feeling, precisely. But I know him well enough to understand.

He’s a quiet, creative child in a family of strong, leader types. But thanks to a sensitive and encouraging leader, he realized that this was his moment. A defining moment, a rite of passage, that no one else could do for him. He was following Jesus on his own, rather than being just swept along in the crowd of our little Christian family, or our big Christian church. To witness this day was a gift.

Tags: baptism, joy, parenting

I was listening to my favorite morning radio talk show, and the hosts had people call in if they had already filled every weekend on their calendar for the summer.

In other words, they were so busy that they could not squeeze in one more social obligation until after Labor Day. Yikes.

Summer is a season that we somehow expect to be sort of laid back, relaxing. The problem is, it’s not.

What happened to lazy summers? Why do some people have their entire summer filled with activity? Why do we approach even our recreation as if it were a competitive sport?

I live in Chicago, where summer is short. You want to take advantage of the opportunity to get outside and enjoy these few short months of warm weather.  But that doesn’t explain the busyness.

Why would people call in to a radio show to talk about how busy they are? Because we equate busyness with importance. If you have a full calendar, you are significant. But come September, do you really feel more important as a result? Busyness sells us a bill of goods, but doesn’t deliver.

Significance is found in a sane rhythm of life, one in which we work, but also rest. And in that rest, we get to experience a profound truth: we are still loved even when we are not productive. By slowing down, we are able to notice God’s care for us. And we are re-energized for the work we do.

If you have kids, summer can easily fill up with camps, sports, and other activities. Working parents have to patch together camps and care, so these options for kids are necessary. But often, we moms sign our kids up for so many things, that we end up in the car most of the summer, driving them to various activities.

What if you gave yourself, and thepeople you live with, a simple gift: a bit of down time, a day of rest? What are you doing to simplify your summer?

Here are some photos my daughter took at the lake. She’s definitely becoming quite the photographer. I love seeing her skills develop.

Tags: beauty, photography, summer

Just a reminder that tomorrow is Father’s Day. I got to spend some time with my dad last week, when he and my mom came out to visit (they live in Calif.).
The more I experience with my kids, the more I appreciate my parents. For example, this week I started teaching my daughter to drive. She’s doing great, but man, there are so many things for her to think about. It’s crazy.
My dad taught me to drive on back roads, in a stick shift Volkswagon Rabbitt. So in addition to turning, accelerating, braking, looking, I had to learn to shift as well! Teaching my daughter to drive an automatic has given me a deeper appreciation of my dad’s amazing patience and kindness. He never yelled. He never grabbed the wheel (which I did the first two times she drove–only to avoid parked cars!!).
Think about struggles you have with your kids–whether it’s getting up with a crying baby in the middle of the night, disciplining a toddler or setting a curfew for your teen. And think about the fact that your parents went through that and more with you.
Then, if you can, call your dad and just say thanks.

Tags: Father's Day, kids, love, parenting

So, the kids are out of school, we had houseguests for a week, the weather’s getting warmer, I took a part-time job for just a few hours a week. I have endless excuses as to why I am not writing more.

I need to write. It helps if I have an actual project, with a deadline. There’s nothing like a deadline to motivate you. But even without a deadline, my life makes more sense to me if I write things down. I can’t even really think unless I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard). sometimes, work and self-care are intimately intertwined.

Today, I had lunch with a writer friend. While it feels like an indulgence to enjoy sushi, tea and “writer talk,” it’s actually very good for me to be with other writers. They remind me of my calling, my focus, my job. They remind me, ever so gently, to get my butt in the chair and just write.

So this afternoon, when I thought I didn’t have time, I realized I had about two hours. Instead of piddling around on Facebook, I made myself work on my as-yet uncontracted book. It helps to have a goal, so I set one: to write a few good chapters, to submit to a critique group my writer friend invited me to be a part of.

In that two hours, I wrote 1329 words. That’s a good day’s work for me, sometimes. So what if I found a couple of hours each day, and just wrote? What if I made time for the things that really matter to me? My excuses might evaporate.

What goals are you putting off? what do you need to do to move forward?

Tags: goals, mission, vision, writers, writing

nearly all the outgoing text messages from my phone go to my kids. this summer, they say things like “I’ll pick u up @ 10:30″ or “I’m in the parking lot” or “Dad is on his way. who else are we driving?”
I am my 15-year-old’s chauffer this summer. I’d complain, but I’m being laid off from this job soon. Today, she got her learner’s permit, and I let her drive around the neighborhood a bit. She actually did quite well.
My daughter has to log 50 hours of driving on her permit. I would hate to log how many hours I’ve spent driving her around in the last 15 years, but I know those 50 hours will fly by.
I keep having flashbacks to teaching her to ride her bike, running alongside her until she was riding on her own and didn’t even realize it. Because this feels a little like that. I stand, panting, watching her spread her wings and fly. I didn’t know I could be this sad and this proud at the same time.

Tags: bittersweet, driver ed, driving, parenting, raising teenagers, teens

I’m going to be on Moody Radio today (WMBI 90.1 in Chicago, wmbi.org on-line) at 3:45 p.m. today talking about Sabbath stay-cation, the topic of this month’s newsletter. I hope you’ll tune in!

Here’s the newsletter in case you missed it: (or click here to read the whole thing)

Summer is here—the kids are out of school, or will be in a few days. Moms are trying to enjoy the last few days of solitude as they slip through our fingers. Our calendars are crowded with graduation parties, end of school events, and so on.

The kids are both ready for some R & R—rest and relaxation. Maybe you feel the same way—you’re longing for a vacation. But many people I know feel economic uncertainty, or worse, certainty: they are certain that they are in financial trouble.

So instead of a vacation, they’re making plans for a “stay-cation.” They’ll stay at home rather than travel. They’ll perhaps go to the community pool instead of traveling to the beach, they’ll go for a bike ride in their own neighborhood instead of in the mountains. Or, maybe, they will pull out a lawn chair and a good book, and just sit in the backyard.

Often, we feel we “need” a vacation because we have been working too hard without ever taking a break. We’ve overloaded our schedules, kept busy 24/7, and now we just need some time to relax. We want to escape, and a stay-cation in the backyard just doesn’t cut it.

I wonder what would happen if we lived all of our life at a saner pace? If we worked hard six days a week, but then every week, took one day to rest? What if instead of going non-stop for 50 weeks and collapsing for two, we took our vacation one day at a time?

Have you ever stopped to think about the pace of your life? Are you hurried? When people ask “How are you?” how do you answer? Do you say “I’m busy!” or perhaps you’ve moved on to busy’s logical conclusion, “I’m tired!” Have you said yes to things you wish you’d said no to?

Do you ever take a day to just be? To focus more on relationships than accomplishments? To just do something you enjoy? Or do nothing at all? A day to stop being a consumer and just enjoy what you already have?

One of the wisest spiritual mentors I ever had asked me to think about my “rhythm of life.” Rhythm, by definition, requires a pattern: things happen on a regular basis. What spiritual practices did I want to include in my daily, weekly, monthly and annual schedule? This forced me to think about scheduling practices such as solitude days, putting them on the calendar like the unbreakable appointments they were.

One of the most important pieces in the rhythm of life I’ve adopted is taking a weekly Sabbath. It’s a day to worship, to be with my family, to rest. It’s a day that I turn off the computer but tune into the people I love. It’s a day when I am infinitely interruptible—which is to say, loving. What do I do on Sabbath? Anything, as long as it is not necessary. I may be in my garden, or I may be sailing with my husband. Almost always, I spend a little time reading, talking with my family, or playing a board game with my children. I don’t always cook, but we always gather around a table for a leisurely meal shared with family and/or friends.

This summer, rather than cry about the fact that you can’t afford to take a vacation, give yourself a day off once a week. It doesn’t cost anything. In fact, by refusing to go out and buy more stuff, you can practice contentment. By taking a day to rest, you model for your children a very important truth: your value does not lie in your accomplishments. You will give them a way to access that elusive commodity we all want—contentment. And you’ll realize—you can’t buy contentment. You have to simply decide to be content. How? By slowing down, by taking some time to just notice that you have enough.

Get some friends to join you in this “stay-cation” by reading my book Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity together. The book will give you guidance for living a sanely-paced, God-focused life. Rest has a group study guide included in the book. And if you read it with a group, drop me an e-mail and I’ll send you autographed bookplates and bookmarks for your whole group—for free. If you want to see what a book club discussion of Rest looks like, check out my videos on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhNhW6JYYzI. Be sure to leave a comment and also to forward the link to your friends.

There are certain places that feel sacred to me—the chapel where I was married, the lake at sunset, my garden when everything is in bloom.

God made us so intricately. When we come into a place where we have felt God’s presence before, our minds and hearts often automatically settle into a more peaceful state. Just entering a sacred space can make us more aware of God’s presence.

Click here to read the rest of my latest For Your Soul column on Christianity Today’s website.

Tags: freedom, rest, sabbath, tabernacle, time

For the last several years, I have had the privilege of serving as one of a dozen or so ”regular contributors” to Today’s Christian Woman magazine. I’ve written dozens of articles for them, and built friendships with many wonderful editors there.

So I was sad to hear the news today that Christianity Today Inc. (which publishes many magazines, including its flagship publication Christianity Today) announced that TCW is ceasing publication.

Last week, I started getting e-mails from my editors at  CTI, telling me that I’d now be working with a different editor, because they’d been laid off. The news today confirmed that CTI is laying off employees and shutting down four of its many publications. Christianity Today magazine is still afloat, at least for now.

This is sad for the folks who got laid off, but it’s also sad for me as a freelancer. This is the second time in a few months that a magazine I write for regularly has folded (Discipleship Journal was the first fatality–you can click here to read my post about that).

This is frustrating. I’ve built relationships with editors, and found great satisfaction in contributing to publications I believed were doing important work, helping people grow. But the world, and the way it distributes information, is changing.

This is a time when I will grieve, but I will also move on. Rather than simply bemoan the changes, the challenge is now to adapt to those changes, to find new places to write, new places to ply my trade. I’m looking at other magazines, websites and other venues. And of course, still writing books and speaking.

Perhaps you’ve had changes in your life that have thrown you off balance. How do you respond to change? do you look for new paths, or hunker down and complain? In the midst of loss, we must acknowlege the challenges but also search for opportunities. If we adapt, we survive.

Tags: Christianity Today, publishing industry, today's christian woman magazine