The following originally appeared in my newsletter, Welcoming and Wandering. Click to read and subscribe for free.
In these vitriolic and violent times, we feel lost. Spiritually adrift. Uncertain. Maybe even afraid.
Fear closes us down, keeps us from welcoming. Keeps us from listening, which is of course an essential part of welcoming. (Want more on listening as a spiritual practice? My book Listen guides you in listening to God and others.)
We may feel a sense of outrage—and then, another wave of indignation that others are not outraged by the same things we are.
We are tempted to retreat, to talk only to those who agree with us. But how can we welcome those with whom we disagree? How can we listen, rather than just wait for our turn to argue? (I’m honestly asking because right now, this is hard for me.)
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto: https://www.pexels.com
What would it look like to have a generous conversation with someone you disagree with? To sit down over a cup of coffee and just listen? I’m literally asking, because I’m having a lot of conversations these days, with folks who see things differently. Almost as if they’ve been living in a different world, with different newsfeeds and narratives shaping their opinions and even their souls.
The practice of hospitality, of welcome, requires a certain level of generosity. If you welcome someone for a meal, or to stay with you, or even just a cup of coffee, your hospitality is (or should be) imbued with generosity.
But fear doesn’t just keep us from welcoming. It hinders any kind of generosity, including the generosity of welcome.
Photo by Jessica Lewis thepaintedsquare: https://www.pexels.com
If someone offers you a meal or a place to stay, but does so grudgingly or out of obligation, you will likely feel unwelcomed.
I was lying awake last night thinking about this, and the phrase “practice generosity with free hearts” came to mind. It sounded biblical so I did some sleuthing but couldn’t find that exact phrase in the bible.
Yes, the bible says we should give cheerfully, in fact, that God loves cheerful givers. Deuteronomy 15:10 says “Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.” (The “them” in this text refers to the poor.)
So “practice generosity with free hearts” is the positive way to say what Deuteronomy 15 instructs us to do. While generosity in this case was about resources—food or money or whatever folks in Moses’s time had to share with others—but generosity goes beyond physical resources. It might be about how much kindness we’re willing to share. Notice that the verse doesn’t say “God will bless you so you don’t have to work,” but rather, “God will bless you in all your work.”
And what if the work we must do (much as I don’t want to) is to give my love and attention and space without “a grudging heart”?
What are “free hearts” except those free from holding a grudge?
We cannot practice generosity and hospitality without a commitment to also practice listening—deep, soul level listening. To hear and respond not just to a person’s words, but to the pain or misunderstanding or wounds behind the words.
Could it be that generosity frees our hearts? Frees them from fear, from anger, from vitriol? Frees them to expand, grow, extend hospitality to not just those who we know or agree with, but even those we don’t know or don’t agree with.
The context for this ancient wisdom is the practice of Jubilee, where debts were cancelled every seven years (or were supposed to be). God, through Moses, was setting up rules for the nation of Israel to live by.
“If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them. Rather, be openhanded and freely lend them whatever they need.” (Deuteronomy 15:7-8)
Generosity is a choice that comes with a promise of blessing. I think this doesn’t necessarily mean that generosity is a path to wealth, but it might be the secret to contentment.
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